back from a long day out. went to church this afternoon. well the no. of ppl who turn up is pathetic. and we have this ltg meeting after everything, its kind of productive for us. thou we are nt talking abt the main issues we are suppose to discuss but yea i manage to know more things. Went to eat steamboat at tiong with alice, qianhui, aling. i dont think i will eat there again, its nt very nice afterall.

ivan ge kinda gave me a "project" to do. he asked me to do up our youth room. i know he did talk to me about it before and i wasnt really turn off by it. but i haven came up with an answer, i still have my worries and everything. it seems simple but its not. But in the end before i could even say anything, he announce it to everyone that i will be taking up this thing and i was given the full authority. i can do it the way i like, yes it sounds good, sounds appealing. but eventually lotsa of complain will arise, definately there will be handful who will make noises. And i dont have confidence in doing this thing. Hey i am not even an art student, just because i am going to a art sch but that doesnt mean anything. i shld say i dont have the abilty. there are better choices like joseph, shauna, james and even jas they all. not that i am not interested but i think my abilty is limited. its kind of stressful when you gave me something like this. what if the room turn out like shit, what if they dont like it. just as i said why suddenly gave me things like this to do when i dont feel like doing anything, when i complain so much abt their youth. i wonder what is God trying to do, wht is He bringing across. i dont think i deserve. today lil' sermon surely let me realise smth but i dont know wht can i do. its not only me, i think my ltg ppl too, i myself is struggling there and now theres more for me to pull back. i am tired...

anyway i was ask to go drinking at clarke quay but it was rather sian so i kind of come up with excuses. but its true la, i gt service tmr and i dont want to be home late. further more i am cash tight now, i dont wanna waste money drinking you see. on the bus back home with lyn i kinda found out alot of things that i think i never even thought abt. sometimes humans are too selfish, we hardly will think about others. whether they are doing fine or how are they feeling. its just like our clique, we seems to be rather close on the surface but it was until today then i really realise that the bond is spilt. guys one grp, girls will always only be some of us. yea indeed we surely left out someone. finally we now know whats the main reason at least we know wht each other thinks now.



I AM GONNA BE A POLY CRASHER!